


The Funeral

by AngelsDemonsAndHuntersOhMy



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Dead Dean, M/M, Main Character Already Dead, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-27
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-09-27 06:22:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9980216
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelsDemonsAndHuntersOhMy/pseuds/AngelsDemonsAndHuntersOhMy
Summary: Dean is dead at the beginning of the story. I really wanted to build this story around Cas and Dean together as friends and go through Cas's emotions.Hope you stick around to see the next story!xxx





	

**Author's Note:**

> Dean is dead at the beginning of the story. I really wanted to build this story around Cas and Dean together as friends and go through Cas's emotions. 
> 
> Hope you stick around to see the next story! 
> 
> xxx

Funeral

Dean Winchester  
Brother and Son.  
January 29, 1979- July 18, 2004

That is what Dean’s tombstone would read. The Winchester family and Cas went to the funeral home to finalize what it would say and where he would rest. 

“Is everything correct?” the engraver asked.

“Yes,” Mary sniffled.

“Okay. It will be ready for the funeral tomorrow afternoon.”

“Thank you,” John said. He leaned over his chair to hug Mary who was trying not to cry.

Exactly 35 days ago Dean Winchester died. Cas was at home waiting for Dean to come pick him up when he got the call. They had planned to go develop Dean’s pictures from the camera Cas got him for his 15th birthday. Dean always had that camera hanging from his neck or hip whenever Cas saw him and always said, “I only take care of the things I love,” with a wink. It was his absolute favorite thing to say besides “Son of a bitch!” that always made Cas giggle. Cas was in his kitchen, finishing his tea, when he got a call from John. 

“Hello?”

“Castiel?”

“Hello, John.” John had never been so formal with him so it was weird to hear his full name.

“There’s been an accident.”

“What? Is everyone okay? What happened?” at this point Cas was freaking out. 

“I don’t really know how to tell you this...but Dean passed away.”

It was quiet for a solid minute.

“What?” Cas whispered.

“Someone hit the side of the impala with a semi truck.”

“Okay. Thank you, John.”

“If you need anything Cas, you know where to find us,” and with that he hung up.

Cas stood over his sink, trying to control his breathing not realizing he dropped his mug on the floor. He felt slow tears trailing down his face and watched them drop into the sink. Suddenly he retched in the sink with what felt like a punch to the stomach. He wiped his tears away with the palm of his hands and backed into a wall. It felt like his heart was being squeezed along with his lungs. His stomach felt like he had been punched and kicked for hours. He slowly sank to the floor with a gut wrenching sob and pulled his knees to his chest. The world didn’t seem to matter in that moment. He was angry at it. He was scared of it. He was frustrated. He felt guilty. Every emotion was going through his mind right now. He couldn’t stop crying like a leaky faucet. He stayed on the floor crying and trembling with sadness. 

That’s how Sam and Gabriel found him later that night. 

Gabriel had heard the news when he went to go visit his best friend. He sat down and cried with Sam for a few hours and then left to go see how Cas was doing. Sam wanted to come to help him and see how he was doing too. When they walked in, they found Cas on the floor in a dark kitchen with tear stains down his face and broken pieces of ceramic surrounding him. Gabriel tried to wake him up but Cas was dead asleep. Sam picked him up and carried him to his bed to tuck him in while Gabriel cleaned up the mess. Sam set him down on the bed and cleaned the cut in Cas’s hand from a piece of ceramic.

“Dean?”

“No, it’s Sam. Sorry Cas,” Sam said pulling the blanket up to Cas’ chest. 

“How you holding up, Cas?” asked Gabriel.

With his lip quivering and tears pooling in his eyes he said, “Not good.”

“Yeah me too,” Sam said. Everyone had tears in their eyes.

“We just came to see how you were but we’ll leave so you can sleep,” Sam said.

“Wait-no. Please stay,” Cas whispered, holding onto Gabriel and Sam’s sleeves.

Sam and Gabriel looked at eachother then said, “Yeah. Okay.” 

So the two got into bed on either side of Cas and tried to fall asleep.

Here Cas is, 35 days later, choosing what to wear to his best friend’s funeral. Dean always said he didn’t want people wearing all black to his funeral because ‘Cas, let’s face it, black is boring. It’s sexy but boring.’ Cas chose to wear his dark denim jeans and his Led Zeppelin shirt. Dean wouldn’t care what he was wearing as long as it wasn’t black. He put on some nice shoes, grabbed his stuff and headed out the door when something stopped him. He forgot his present for Dean. He went under his bed and pulled out his box full of memories and pulled out a couple things. Once he had them in a bag he walked out to his car and got in. For some reason he couldn’t bring himself to turn on the car. It’s for Dean. It’s for Dean. He kept chanting that all the way to the cemetery. 

When he parked by Dean’s plot, he could hear Led Zeppelin’s Ramble On playing faintly in the distance. He walked over to the Winchesters with his bag in tow. He said his hellos to all of Dean’s friends and family. He knew most of them already but some of them lived farther away and he never met them. Everyone gave him these weird looks of sympathy. It wasn’t like a ‘I’m sorry you lost your best friend’ kind of thing. It was stronger than that and it made Cas a bit uncomfortable when people gave him the look or hugged him. He wasn’t big on physical affection. The only ones he felt comfortable with right now were the Winchesters and Gabriel. The plan was to bury Dean then go back to the Winchester’s home to have coffee and bread then watch Dean’s goodbye video. Cas didn’t know if he could stick around for that. 

“Mary?” 

“Oh. Hello, Cas,” she said with a warm smile. She opened her arms for a hug and Cas ran right into them. Mary was like his mother when he met Dean and John was like his father. He left his home full of siblings as soon as he turned 18 so he has no idea what it’s like to have parents or any real family connections. But with the Winchester’s it felt natural.

“How are you?,” Cas asked, his question muffled by her hair.

“I’m pushing along. And you?”

“I’m trying.”

“You know, I really hope you come to watch Dean’s goodbye video. Sam put it together,” she said with hopeful eyes.

“Alright. I’ll come by.” I hope.

Everyone started to sit down when the priest came to say goodbye to Dean and ‘lead him to heaven’. Cas didn’t know whether to believe that or not. Even though he was named after an angel, he still doesn’t know what to believe. If God really existed, he wouldn’t have taken Dean away from Cas.

"We gather here today to celebrate the life of Dean Winchester, who has now returned to his home with Our God, The Father…” 

Cas droned out after that. He was just thinking about what he and Dean went through together. They went through bumps and bruises, girlfriends, a fight, high school and college. For Dean just to leave suddenly is insane. Mary tapped his knee when the priest called him up to give a eulogy. Cas hesitated before going up.

He took a deep breath and, “Hello. My name is Castiel. Dean calls me Cas-I mean called me Cas. Dean and I have known each other since we were in kindergarten. Um.. I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say….Dean was a very kind soul that burned brighter than any star you have ever seen. He would protect anyone he loved until his last breath. I remember one night, when we went to the diner to have dinner and someone was being very rude and aggressive to me. Dean punched him in the face and kicked him out when he tried to hurt me and Sam. That was the only time I have ever seen Dean Winchester put down his fork while eating pie.” Tears started streaming down his face. Everyone was happy crying. “When I think of Dean the first thing I think of is his 1967 Chevy Impala. I only know the year and model because he would never shut up about ‘Baby’. He would drive Sam and I everywhere and always took amazing care of it. Dean Winchester is an amazing human and soul that will be missed in this world. His charm, generosity, and selflessness will always be remembered in this world and whatever other world there is. Thank you,” with that he walked over to Dean’s casket and placed a picture of him and Dean, when they were 18, on his birthday and a button from the trenchcoat Dean bought him one drunken night right next to the protection amulet Sam placed, the impala license plate John placed, and the flower and pie charm Mary placed on his casket. 

Slowly, he walked backed to his seat and received a hug sandwich from Sam and Mary. When the service was over and everyone got up to leave, Mary tapped Cas on the shoulder as he prepared to go. When he turned she was holding out four large manila envelopes. 

“What’s this?”Cas said reaching out for them. The envelopes were thick and very heavy when Cas grabbed them. He had to put them in the crook of his elbow to hold them.

“These are Dean’s photos. All of them. We looked through them and we figured you would want them. We know Dean would want to give them to you,” Mary said. 

The envelopes were labeled 1994-1995, 1996-1997, 1998-2000, and 2001-2004. Cas could tell the 2004 was written by Sam. 

“The photos he was going to develop that day are in there too,” Mary whispered.

“Thank you,” Cas said giving Mary a big hug before they headed back to their respective cars. Cas sat in the driver's seat of his car and opened the first envelope. The first picture he found was them sitting in the hood of the impala with Sam on Dean’s 15th birthday; the day Cas gave him the camera. There were about fifty more pictures from that day before he got to a picture of himself sitting on the tree swing the Winchesters had in their front yard. The next picture was Cas sitting by Dean’s window staring at some bees right outside the window. After about half an hour Cas started wondering why there were so many pictures of him in these folders, just him, no one else. It was either him alone or with Dean and some had Sam in them, but every single picture had Cas in it. He decided to go through the last folder and skip to the last picture that was on Dean’s camera. The picture was of him and Cas on Dean’s kitchen counters with their faces covered in flour, jam, apples, and anything used to make a pie. The day before Dean’s accident, Dean came over to ask Cas help him bake his mother’s apple pie. He had showed up with bags of flours, eggs, apples, and everything else to make a pie.

At this point Cas was a mess. His hair was everywhere from him running his hands through it, his nose had a pink tint to it, and there were tear stains going down his cheeks. He put the pictures on the passenger seat and started his car. He started driving to the Winchester’s house when a cat ran across the road and Cas broke so hard the picture flew off the seat and out of thee folders.

“Oh no,” Cas whispered leaning over to pick up the pictures. When he picked them up he realized some of them had writing on the back. 

Cas looking beautiful at the park. 12/8/98  
Cas laughing from my stupid joke. 9/2/97  
Cas looking fine as hell on my 21st birthday. 1/29/00  
Cas and I after the pie attempt. 7/17/04  
Cas ♥ 3/22/01

There was also a disk Cas would have to look at after the get together. He made it the Winchester’s house right as they were about to start Dean’s tribute video. He walked into the house and saw Sam walking up to him. 

“Glad you’re here. Mom was beginning to think you wouldn’t come,” Sam said gripping his shoulder, leading him to the couch. Once everyone had settled into their seat John put a disk in and pressed play.

The video started with Mary on a hospital bed holding a newborn Dean in her arms. Mary looked exhausted but still beautiful. The scene slowly faded and turned into Dean taking his first steps with Mary and John’s excited voices in the background. The next was Dean coming up to the camera and holding out a glob of mud with a flower stuck on top. ‘Here you go mommy!’ Dean said. “Oh, it’s beautiful, Dean,” Mary said with a laugh. The next was Dean, Cas, and a baby Sam swimming is the kiddie pool John brought home. Dean is splashing away while Cas is in the line of fire looking anything but amused. Sam looks and his brother and starts to splash and babble away. The next is the boys getting their awards at school. The next is everyone singing happy birthday to Dean on his 16th birthday with Cas smiling next to him. The next is Dean getting his diploma with everyone cheering at the top of their lungs. The next is just Dean recording himself saying, ‘Well hello everyone. I am here with my bestest friend ever, Cas! Cas come here.’ ‘No.’ Then Cas is in frame. ‘Hi.’ ‘So what are we doing Cas?’ ‘We’re at the store to develop your dumb pictures and get some food.’ ‘Hey! My pictures are not dumb! You know you love that I still use your camera.’ ‘Yeah it’s the only reason I hang out with you anymore. Just so I can check if you’re going to break it or not.’ ‘Okay well the battery is running low so I will see you later along with Cas.’ Cas had walked over to the fridge to grab his drink and while he was debating what to get Dean zoomed the camera onto his butt. Then turned it around and winked and put a thumbs up. There were laughs and giggles heard from everyone. 

The next videos were just Dean on his birthday or just being silly. The last video was Dean talking to Sam and Cas about some fancy part he needed for the Impala. ‘Yeah whatever Dean. Go away,’ Sam said. ‘No, I know you love me and my company.’ Sam and Cas stared laughing. ‘Alright, seeing as you’re being a couple of assholes right now I’m gonna go.’ ‘Say bye to the camera Dean.’ ‘Bye everyone! See you later!’ and with that he walked out of frame and the screen went black. We love you Dean! Showed up at the end. 

Everyone was crying and cleaning their faces with their sleeves or tissues Mary handed out. They stayed for a while longer just talking about Dean. They all talked about how amazing he was and what a beautiful person he was inside and out. Cas said goodbye to everyone and headed home when he started yawning. He got home, changed into his pyjamas, and got into bed. He had brought the manila folders in with him and had set them on the bed next to him. He stared at the disk wondering what was on it. The outside of the disk said To Cas. Curiosity got the better of him so he pulled out his laptop and inserted the disk. He grabbed his headphones and pressed play.

What came up was a nervous Dean in frame messing with his hair and shirt. He started breathing slowly in and out with his head in his hands. He looked into the camera for about 30 seconds but to Cas it felt as if he was looking into Dean’s real eyes, almost as if he was actually here. Dean let out a sigh and stood up straight.

“Hiya Cas,” Dean said. His voice creating a ping in Cas’ chest. 

“So, if you’re watching this then I finally got the balls to actually give it to you. Um okay. So you and I have known eachother for a long time. And when I say ‘long time’ I mean a long ass time. We have been through so much you and I. You helped me when I broke up with Lisa and I helped you when you broke up with Meg. All though I don’t know why you dated her in the first place. Anyways, not the point. So you might be thinking to yourself ‘Okay Dean really? You gave me this to watch you ramble?’ No, I didn’t. See Cas, you and I have a weird relationship. Everyone assumes that we’re together or something. I mean Lisa thought that I was cheating on her with you for a bit.” Dean let out a breathy laugh. “Look. Ever since we met I knew we had something special, man. I don’t mean just a good friendship or whatever. I’m talking a connection that two people that fought in war together have,” Dean said staring into the camera. He kept playing with his hands and touching the back of his neck showing how nervous he was. “Cas. My sweet Cas with your deep voice and ocean-blue eyes. I like you. Actually, no. I love you, Cas. I’m not good with all of this gooey, lovey stuff but I do love you. I love how much you love bees. I love how you play with your hair, making it messier and messier. I love how you take care of Sam when I’m not around. I love everything about you. I hope that you feel the same way. I had to record this because I wouldn’t be able to do this in your face. I hope you come to my house and tell me you love me too because I just bared my soul to you, Cas. I don’t know what I’m going to do if you don’t feel the same. Take all the time you need. See you soon, Cas,” Dean finished with a smile. When the video stopped playing, Cas closed his eyes and laid back.

“Dean, you idiot,” he whispered. Tears welled up in his eyes. “I’m glad you didn’t tell me this when you were alive because I don’t know what I would do if we were dating. At the same time, I hate you for not telling me. We could of had so many amazing memories.” Cas didn’t know what to think. He and his best friend actually wanted to date each other. He wiped his tears away laughing. 

“Dean, I love you too.”

The next morning he went to the flower shop and bought a bouquet of asters,carnations, hyacinths, and delphiniums. All symbolizing some emotions Cas felt or things that represent Dean. He walked over to Dean’s headstone and sat down right next to it.

“I hope you know you’re an idiot,” he said looking over at the headstone. “If you had given me the video way before, we could’ve been dating. Dean, I’ve been waiting for the perfect opportunity to tell you how I felt but it was just never the right moment and I felt like you didn’t feel the same. I thought you were just really touchy feely. We both feel stupid. I love you, Dean. I’ll never stop loving you.” 

He stood up and placed the flowers on top of the headstone and brought his hands to his lips and brought it down onto the headstone. His hand lingered there for a minute before whispering, “Goodbye, Dean. I love you,” and walked away.

“I love you too, Cas.”


End file.
